Thank you, but no thank you

Ahhhh the contradictory.
SO fun to deal with confused, contradictory folk.
I love wasting my time trying to decipher what it was they actually MEANT to email me, vs. what I'm reading.

It's one of my top ten most favorite things to do.

Not.

Today will be yet another compilation of the baffling and baffled alike.

Let's dive in, shall we?

"My sales skills stand by far in a place like very few to owning my on credit card. The other main attribute I poses has been to handle visitors in accordance with policy and production documents."

WTF does any of that mean?

Ooo, wait, here's another from an equally confusing dude, that talks about tolerating things. And like, a LOT:

"I have honest and tolerable patience. I have high tolerance in receiving positive feedback. I have high tolerance in patience with dealing with company."

Is he talking about his in-laws coming over or his job? And if he only has high tolerance in receiving positive feedback, I hate to think what would happen if he received negative feedback.

Or how about this one:

"I'm a young professional worker looking to work in a place that keeps their things in order."

Say wha? Like alphabetized? Lined up symmetrically or color coded? Do you have OCD young lady?

Here's a stubborn young man:

"I don't like to do things halfway. I always complete things or not do anything at all."

Really?
So like you'd go pout in a corner the second you realized your boss gave you a project you couldn't complete by the end of that day?

"I need a job that will help me expend my abilities to the process success of the organization."

Huh?

"I want to immerse myself within the permieteral breach of a career that will foster excessive growth of my freedom."

Again, huh?

All of this is just absolutely Fudiculous.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need a drink.