Here comes your Weekly Resume Roundup of Stunning Stupidity!

I've been busy gathering some rather ridiculous one liners from the week... so without further ado, I present to you:
A Resume Roundup of Stunning Stupidity!! (along with my commentary in the parentheses following...cuz I can't resist making comments...)

1. "I have a long narrow length of experience" 

(WTF does that even mean??)

2. "I cleaned a lot at this job. In fact more than I care to ever again." 

(Bahahahaha!!! Just for that I'm calling you to inquire as to whether or not you'd like to apply for the janitorial position we don't really have but I just made up to get you all riled up on the phone...)

3. "Firstly, I have a good driving record only in that I currently do not have a license." 

(This one gets most creative marks under the "I feel I have to explain my car situation even though nobody really cares" category.)

4. "BA in Accounting, 200010-2012"

 (OMGawd I can't believe somebody would even do this...)

5. And this is my all time favorite for the week:

 "Experience: Not much due to personal issues that are being taken care of" 

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA can you say Drama?? Yeah, I'm TOTALLY hiring you!)

And that's it! 

(Okay, I fib, there were more, but I'm saving them for future posts because they were THAT GOOD.)

Stay tuned for more resume entertainment next week!

And thanks for tuning in in the first place!