Missed Opportunities

I love young college students.

I really do.

I find it admirable that they're doing their best to get a higher education and to "better" themselves to make them more productive citizens of society.

I also understand that attempting to launch themselves into the "real world" can be a little scary.
Confusing.
Difficult.

I get the idea of "padding" up a resume if you've done nothing BUT gone to school. I've actually helped people in this predicament compose their resumes into what I would call a "reasonable" fashion given their circumstances.

I understand being desperate because mommy and daddy are breathing down your neck to GET A REAL JOB AND STOP BEING A PROFESSIONAL STUDENT ALREADY. If you've been one of those college students that's been lucky enough to live at home with the parental units getting free room and board and getting your tuition paid for as well, OR lucky enough that the parental units are paying for you to live SOMEWHERE ELSE on their dime, with spending money to boot and you just have to go to school, then eventually? Your luck's going to run out. That's just a fact of life. At some point or another it's going to be time to be a grown up and start supporting yourself and stop milking your time in college going to frat parties and pretending that carrying 8 units is absolutely KILLING you, that it's ALL that you can handle.
Although I wasn't lucky enough to be in that particular predicament, I had a lot of college friends that were so even though it slightly angered me that I wasn't that lucky, I GET ALL THAT.

What I don't get, however, is when a college student is insistent that our particular company fits into what they've been studying and that we'd have a "mutually beneficial" relationship if we hire them at a high wage for a mid-level position of which they know nothing about. I'm embarrassed for them that because they have a special piece of paper they walk around with the attitude that they are "entitled" to start much farther up the food chain than most of the other average folk out there. (More on my annoyance with the "Entitled Generation" to come in future blog posts...)

This particular charming college student took it to a whole different level when she emailed me a note with her resume. She took several circuitous routes to get to the end result, which was exactly... nowhere.
The road we traveled to arrive at The Town of Uselessness was ridiculous.

So without further ado- I present to you word for word (nothing paraphrased by yours truly)-
"A Missed Opportunity" by Taylor _______________.

"Dear HR,
I would like to come to a job interview. Like asap. As you can tell from my sparkling curriculum vitae, I am the perfect candidate for this job. I have been in college and am anxious to get started in the working world at your specific company. I should say upfront that I require an income of $4500 a month to start. Unfortunately today and tomorrow are not the best days for me to interview however, perhaps a week from the last week of the month? I've attached my CV to this email ThankYOU for your time."

Well darnit all Taylor that you can't come in today or tomorrow because as your

Curriculum Vitae points out,
"Analysis of Italian Fascism in the Countryside" would have been SUPER USEFUL FOR OUR INSURANCE COMPANY~!!!!
What an incredible missed opportunity for us.

Not.

Oh and PS- "perhaps a week from the last week of the month?" WHO SAYS THAT?!?