I got a good one yesterday!
So good that I covertly RAN back to Tammy's office to show her.
I couldn't believe it.
Just couldn't believe it.
(And by the way, it's hard to covertly run, in heels, without drawing attention to yourself from people that already think you're uber weird. Have you ever tried it before?)
Anyway, back to the resume at hand... a charming young lady who seemed so sweet and innocent... (we'll just call her "Hannah") made a dire mistake at the very very end of her resume. I almost didn't catch it- it was literally the last sentence.
Now first, before I spring the appalling catch phrase on you, let me just paint the picture of our darling virginal resume submitter, Hannah.
Ahem.
She worked as a private residence caregiver for 7 years, where she helped housebound adults.
Then she spent a lot of time doing volunteer work, until she finally landed at Jo-Ann Fabrics, where she was responsible for "cutting fabric, packaging rements" (I'm pretty sure she meant remnants) and "following weights and measurement guidelines."
So...you know... a pretty calm and fairly wholesome individual overall, no?
Alright, now that I've painted you a picture of Miss Perfect- let's release the statement that made me choke on my iced tea and covertly run down the hallway towards my fearless side kick Tammy.
At the very end of her resume, in annoying Comic Sans type under a category she named "Other", THIS STATEMENT:
"Screwing since junior high school"
Choke.
Uh, yeah. You read that right, SCREWING since junior high school.
Gasp.
Given the nature of her resume, there's a pretty good chance she meant to put SEWING since junior high school, but who can be sure, really?
It's usually the quiet ones you gotta look out for ;0)
So good that I covertly RAN back to Tammy's office to show her.
I couldn't believe it.
Just couldn't believe it.
(And by the way, it's hard to covertly run, in heels, without drawing attention to yourself from people that already think you're uber weird. Have you ever tried it before?)
Anyway, back to the resume at hand... a charming young lady who seemed so sweet and innocent... (we'll just call her "Hannah") made a dire mistake at the very very end of her resume. I almost didn't catch it- it was literally the last sentence.
Now first, before I spring the appalling catch phrase on you, let me just paint the picture of our darling virginal resume submitter, Hannah.
Ahem.
She worked as a private residence caregiver for 7 years, where she helped housebound adults.
Then she spent a lot of time doing volunteer work, until she finally landed at Jo-Ann Fabrics, where she was responsible for "cutting fabric, packaging rements" (I'm pretty sure she meant remnants) and "following weights and measurement guidelines."
So...you know... a pretty calm and fairly wholesome individual overall, no?
Alright, now that I've painted you a picture of Miss Perfect- let's release the statement that made me choke on my iced tea and covertly run down the hallway towards my fearless side kick Tammy.
At the very end of her resume, in annoying Comic Sans type under a category she named "Other", THIS STATEMENT:
"Screwing since junior high school"
Choke.
Uh, yeah. You read that right, SCREWING since junior high school.
Gasp.
Given the nature of her resume, there's a pretty good chance she meant to put SEWING since junior high school, but who can be sure, really?
It's usually the quiet ones you gotta look out for ;0)
Not even *I* put that on my resume!
ReplyDeleteLOL the last "pic." Bbbbwwwwaaaahhhahahahaha...
ReplyDelete