Purple People Eaters

Did you ever want to see what an exterminator's resume looks like?

Yeah, neither did I, but I got one baby, so we're ALL gonna get to experience this ridiculousness, TOGETHER.


This is an exact, word for word, representation of "Pat's" resume, sent to me last Friday.
I'm using the name Pat because the name was one of those "could go either direction" kinda names. 
And I use the phrase "word for word" loosely as the spelling is so atrocious, these don't really count for words in my brain. 
(Perhaps Pat's been sniffing too many chemicals? I dunno...)

So keeping in mind again, this could be a boy exterminator 

Or a girl exterminator  

"Expirenced exterminator/tech.

proven customer  service skills .

excellent a time management of my route.

expirenceed in ants.roaches , bees,my specialty is rats.and lately spiders  , Im the go to on spider and rats  .

I am not afraid of dogs or uncomfortable going into backyards that are unfimilar.

I  ve been exterminating for over 15 years, I  ve done extensive termite work as well as pest control.Im always ready to help my co workers and love my customers.I have many awards from past employment to back this up.I am looking for a long term place to advance stability.I have my applicators license and I did have my branch 2,however I accidntly let expire,although my appictors current."

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen!
A lovely exterminator that's not afraid of dogs, bugs, rats, or wandering into your "unfimilar" backyard... but seems to have a great aversion to the almighty apostrophe!

Poor Mr. Apostrophe... just sitting there all useless-like, waiting to be used....

And while I have NO clue what this person expects me to do with them regarding my company, I will share this diddy that all us older people have already heard, but the younger readers here may not have. (And seeing as how I'm here to edu-ma-kate people on some level, I felt it my duty to place that link in this post.)

Did you know that the bug in that song isn't purple himself, but he eats purple people?

Neither did I. All these years I had it wrong. 

I guess I just edu-ma-kated myself.

Ha!