Thursday, October 25, 2012

Email Signatures. A How-(not) To Guide for Resume Making Dummies.

Ahh the email signature situation.

Usually a relatively neutral topic, but not when it comes to job hunting. 

I briefly covered this topic back in this post I wrote when I had to bring up the Bouncing Jesus crap, but I feel the need to delve into the topic a little bit further as they've been driving me NUTS lately.

Here is a list of the unfathomable, head-scratching, bumble-fuckery email sigs I've been receiving. Please keep in mind, these are NOT direct messages to me, these are the phrases permanently right underneath the candidates' names:

"The future depends on what you do with it"

"I like to get super social"

"Absense makes the heart grow funder"

"I'm full of sugar, sugar ;0)"

"Please like me on Facebook!"

"I'll be speaking to you soon, somehow."

"Ask my about my dog! Ruff!"

"This message is approved by ME"

"Sent by me, from my totally awesome phone"

"Mother + 1 bun in the oven, caffeine addicted super woman extraordinaire"

"Travel often down memory lane..."

"Never forget the power you have in life to affect yourself!"

"Change is so good."

"When you were born, the people around you smiled"

"Phone (818) 555-3456 (Monday thru Sunday only)"

"Show me the feet!'

"Faith and virginity above all else."

"(805) 237-5555 Parents home"

"Executive Assiatant"

"Liaison Expert Extraordinaire"

"People transformation is where it's at"

"Clerical Connuseur"

"When you need something in a blink, count on Fink" (last name was Finkelstein)

"I've got soul baby!"

And last but certainly not least:

"Use my global international number to rich me"

Now if you'll please excuse me, I have some drinking to do.

Peace out my peeps!


  1. I love the clip art, I need to remember to say that when one of the idiots I work with act like...well, idiots!

  2. I love your job. Don't get me wrong, I would take everyone in the office out with an AK47 after I lose my fool mind if I ever actually DID your job, but I love that YOU have it. That way, I get to see all the idiocy, without actually ever having to talk to these gems! Oh don't worry, I encounter plenty of those scraping the bottom of the gene pool at my job as well. Don't be jealous.

    My one friend has one of these things. I hate it. I don't use them at all. I think they are the epitome of stupidity. Especially if you can't even SPELL the words in your stupid phrase!

  3. Thanks Mistyslaws- I'm relieved YOU have your job cuz I feel the same way... I'd probably go postal if I had it LOL. So we can enjoy each other's misery in a jointly-making-fun-of-the-bottom-feeders kind of way. :0)

    @Anonymous- that clip art just really "spoke" to me. Had to unleash it quickly once I found it.

    Thanks for reading and commenting!