Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Phone Blunders 101

Occasionally people "other" than the intended job seeker I'm trying to get a hold of answers the phone when I call to chat about their resume. 


And really, I HATE it when this happens. 


This is one of the main reasons why I will NOT call a home phone number. Don't even bother listing them on your resume people. They scare us off. 


I know someone out there is all "Well what if somebody doesn't actually HAVE a cell phone? Hmmm? What then Miss Smarty Pants?"


Umm THEN FREAKIN' JOIN THE CURRENT DECADE AND GET ONE. DUH.


Ahem.


Anyhoo, one more time, why would I not want to call a home phone number you ask?


Because there's a 99% chance somebody OTHER THAN the job seeker will answer the phone. And then it gets Awkward. With a capital "A".


I had 2 examples hit me upside the head today ... and oddly enough, one right after the other. 


The first one was this gal's angry father/significant other/pissed off brother:
"She's not here. You can't talk to her until 8:30 pm every night. Now quit calling during the day." 
Click.


Excuse me? 
I'm so terribly sorry for interrupting your day, you big douche canoe, but your daughter/sister/unfortunate significant other listed only ONE telephone number on her resume, and THIS WAS IT.


That's what I totally said.
In my head.


The next example, however, took the cake. TOOK THE CAKE people.


"Roger" had listed only one number on his resume. It looked like it might be a cell phone number, but really, there's so many different kinds of numbers one can obtain in Southern California because of our massive population, it was hard for me to tell.


This is what went down (and for reference, it's around 10:00 in the morning...):


Little voice: "Hullo?"


Me: "Uh, hi. I would like to speak to Roger please."


Little voice: "Okay."


~then silence~


Me: thinking the kid just set the phone down and walked away forever: "Hello?"


~more silence~


~then slight noise, faint rustling in the background~


Little voice: "Daddy! Get out of bed! And get off Mommy!"


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


OMGAWD
I'm sure my face turned bright red, right there at my desk. I could FEEL it turning all shades of crimson.

I didn't know what to do at this point, so I panicked and did the only logical thing I could think TO DO, I hung up.


Then sat there giggling to myself. 
For like 4 solid minutes.


Then thought, "Oh my gawd, what if he CALLS ME BACK? HOW WILL I HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM?!?! I can't do that!"


And just like that, ring! goes my phone. 


Awww shit.
I can't NOT pick up the phone. He's going to hear my message and know it's me and what company I'm with. And then I'm just going to have to talk to him later anyway...


So, being the sucker that I am, I picked up the phone.


And then got stuck with him on the phone for 10 very long and PAINFUL minutes.


I kept trying to get rid of him, but he persisted, must've asked me like 120 different questions. 


And all the while I could barely focus because all I could hear was that little voice "Daddy! Get off of Mommy!"







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