Monday, December 12, 2011

Today I switch it up a bit

So this would have normally been my 5th Installation of Meanie Mondays but you know what? I'm burned out on the Meanie Weanies. I offically decided- it's the holidays, people are supposed to be joyful and cheerful and happy and all that crap, so I'm not going to expose my faithful readers to an entire blog of vile cussing and rambuncious and profound assholery.
(Is that a word? If not, it is now...)

I am, however, going to turn things around and show a different side of being a today's angle is going to be about how sometimes I have to get a little tough with people.

Those of you that have been reading my blog for some time now are readily familiar with my snarky, sarcastic tone and the fact that I can turn into a full blown meanie myself occasionally. Truth is that I normally don't SAY everything I'm thinking or feeling directly to the Idiot Du Jour. I usually save my responses for my blog venting. I rarely respond to the assholes- I tend to just leave them alone. And on the sparse occasion that I do respond, I'm incredibly courteous and overly polite for the sake of preserving my company and my boss's reputation.
Oh and my job.

Despite how I feel.

While not exactly being mean by any stretch of the imagination, today's example pushed me over the proverbial Recruiter Edge. I couldn't help myself, I had to point out how unreasonable she was being. I HAD to respond to her to let her know how I felt about things.

A smidge of back story- I found "Kari" on a job board this past summer after plugging in specific criteria to thin down my resume "hunt" as many of us recruiters do.  Kari was a bit on the younger side of life (which I could only deduce from her high school graduation date) but she had already gotten her Life and Health license with the State of CA Dept of Insurance, so I was interested in placing her with one our top notch established agents in Westlake Village. I emailed her explaining my interest in her and my intentions of passing her along so she could interview with this particular office if she would be amenable to the idea. This is word for word what she came back and said to me:

"Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for the interview offer as it sounds like what I'm looking for. I think Westlake Village is too far for me though, especially with traffic."
(Side bar commentary here: she was already working in Thousand Oaks and she lived in the San Fernando Valley. For those of you that are reading this and don't know what the heck I'm talking about geographically speaking- I was offering to SHORTEN her commute. That was apparently unreasonable.)
"I'm only willing to go towards Glendale and Pasadena, possibly Arcadia. But that's it."
(Second side bar commentary: I think she possibly has an aversion to the west portion of California now? Perhaps she has an intense desire to drive with the sun IN her eyes every morning as she's been missing out on that.)

"Also, be advised that in September I'm registered to take 2 computer classes during the day at North Valley Occupational Center to increase my typing from 40-50 wpm to anything above that. I also want to become IC3 Certified."
(Third side bar commentary: anything above 40-50 wpm? So she's going to go to school to possibly become a 51 wpm whiz? I'm only a 65 wmp whiz but man, that just seemed stupid to bring up. While admirable that she wants to become IC3 Certified (and for those of you that don't know what that is- in the interest of educating you just a little bit every day, please go Google it now. I'll wait. - - - -, the next few lines of what she has to say about the certification just, quite frankly, piss me off.)
"For any position I do interview for, the first few months need to be part-time in the afternoons (1-5ish) until I become IC3 Certified, which is my priority. I hope to be certified by the end of October at the latest, and once IC3 Certified, I want full-time work from the hours of 8-5pm, so if other openings become available that can start out part time and turn into full time, I would be interested in those. I am also unwilling to work on the weekends.

Ummmm- - - okay, really?
Let's review my little chickadees, shall we?
I offer her an interview for a full time, hourly pay PLUS large commission position with a prestigious agent, closer to her home, and this is somehow not acceptable. She expects me to bend to her wishes, indulge her in her Outlandish Plan of Stupidity and a) get her a job only positioned due east of her home that will b) start out only from 1-5 in the afternoon and c) turn into a full time position when she feels the time is right.
Did I get all that right?
After careful review, I believe so.

Look here BITCH.
I am not a head hunter that you are PAYING to find you an exclusive job that fits into your spectacularly demanding parameters. The NERVE. The GALL to give me such an outline when you are a) merely 4 years out of high school b) don't have that much experience in the first place and c) are making a possible 1 wpm typing improvement and more than likely completely useless IC3 Certification more important than anything else. How many CLM's (Career Limiting Moves) can I count in her email to me??
Too many.

So while I wanted to say the above paragraph back to her, what I emailed back to her instead, was this:

With all do respect, I have hundreds of resumes on my desk right now and many hungry people that would be very interested in the opportunity to even be offered an interview with this agency. While it is your prerogative to outline the cities you would like to work in, I find the particular criteria after that to be unreasonable for me to try and work with. Clearly your immediate priorities are geared towards getting certified, thus making it impossible to assist you with employment at this time.
If you have a sincere interest in working in the insurance industry, establishing a profitable career, and putting your Life and Health license to good use, recontact me when you are done with your classes.
Until then, best of luck to you with your career search and finding an employer that will meet your demands.

As Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory would say:

Clearly this LOVELY young lady falls into what I call the "Generation Y Black Hole of Entitlement."
This particular species REALLY chaps my hide so stay tuned for more bitching about Generation Y in future blog posts.

Until then, I must share one final interesting tidbit about Miss Kari.
While I half expected her to immediately lash out at me and email back something scathing, essentially telling me what a heartless bitch I am, apparently she pondered what I said as she came crawling back, LAST WEEK. 
She said she had reconsidered and thought my offer was a good one and that she should have taken it in the first place. This was incredibly shocking to me; I've never had anyone admit I was right when I stand up to them and tell them they are being too picky and demanding. So either her parents upped the ante with the yelling about getting a job already, or she realized that all that beautiful certification she just achieved and added to her resume really didn't make the phone ring off the hook after all. 

Did I pass her along for an interview?
Yes I did.
But only after a very thorough warning to the agent as to the history I've had with her. I wanted them to be prepared and know that she may be a flight risk, and that unless she really shines and "sparkles" during her interview with them, it might not be worth it to take a chance on her. 

I have yet to hear if little Miss Fancy East Side Loving, IC3 Certified, 51 WPM Pants got granted an interview or not.
If so, I totally look forward to hearing all the juicy details.
I bet she's also a piece of work in person.

TTFN my friends!

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