Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Toast and people. Those are my skills.

Ahh the young.
The inexperienced.
The naive job seekers.

I luff them.

I really do.

"Tara" sent her resume straight into my inbox yesterday morning.
She didn't say where she worked, just that she had experience with toast.

And people.

I kid you not, toast and people.

That's it.

So this sent me into a spiral of important questions like- what kind of toast?

Does she like to butter the toast as well?

These are pretty deep thoughts.

Oooo! I know! Perhaps she meant she works well putting people ON toast.

Like this:

Or, for all the political toast lovers out there, this:

History buff? Check this out! (Abe would be SO proud...)

OR... what if she meant THIS???

What if she sells TOAST MATTRESSES???

Mind. Blown.

P.S. Somebody needs to take the internet away from me. I just spent the last half hour of my life researching toast. Seriously people.


  1. Hey, at least she has two skills. I always seem to say the wrong thing around people, so all I would have is toast. (With cinnamon and sugar of course...) :)

  2. Did she mean Toastmasters? Does she deliver a good toast? This is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night, damn it! By the way, love your blog and may even love you. In a totally non-creepy, unstalker-y way, of course.

  3. Just saw your blog after lurking on Jen's and think I would like to stalk your blog now too...of course in a non-creepy way as well. You are hillariously funny and I have to say, I do not envy you you're job one bit! I will be back for a visit, thanks for the laughs.

  4. Ditto what the Lemon person above me posted. I found you through Jen's blog and plan on hanging out around here a lot.

    I can't promise to be non-creepy, but I do promise to try to use capitals properly and spell out the word before completely.

  5. Thank you ladies and welcome to my site! Make yourself comfortable sloshing through the archives. Lots more mind blowing stuff on the way! ;0)

  6. You totally had me at the Elvis toast. I'm sold. Also, I perused a few of your oldies but goodies, and you are a funny one. I was giggling so hard at the fright enducing aura schizo guy. I feel like we are kindred spirits, you and I. I see and hear some crazy shit at my job as well. And more often than not it will show up on my blog. Blog as therapy for the win!! :)

  7. I love that someone sent you a people and toast resume. All that skill and experience fit on just one page, right?