Monday, March 26, 2012

You don't have to tell me twice!

Ahhhh passive aggressive job seekers. 
I completely love how incredibly smart they think they are with their mean spirited methods.

Take for example "Ramon", who has stuck in my craw since summer time of last year, but I just haven't gotten around to writing about him until now. He had put himself up on and this was what he uploaded instead of his resume: 

"Want to see my resume? Then you need to email me at this address: ramonhasanoversizedego@I'"

Ahhh Ramon, you jack ass. 
How totally and completely freaking BRILLIANT of you to take the passive aggressive, "I'm gonna make those stupid employers work for it if they want to hire me" route. Especially in this job market. You sly and sneaky son of a bitch.

But last week I encountered a new kind of passive aggressive job seeker that pissed me off on a whole new kind of level. She actually made me sit there and shake my head.
(Which admittedly happens often, but still...)

"Barbara" decided to email me and tell me that she has no interest in being in a sales role. (I had recently contacted her as I was interested in her very HEAVY background in sales...) She didn't do anything decent and say something obvious like "Thank you Stephanie for contacting me, but I've decided to switch gears and am no longer interested in being in sales."
Oh no.

Here's how Brainy Barb decided to handle me instead:

"As I advised you previously and you apparently didn't listen, I am not interested in a sales position. However, I am very interested in any CSR positions with your company and would like them all emailed to me so I can look them over. Thank you. 
- Barbara"

Oh Barbara, you stupid twit. 
Your passive aggressive little dig on me not paying attention to my prior contact with you (which is non-existent by the way, I've never contacted you before the last day and a half, NOR have you previously told me you had no interest in a sales position until now) will get you nowhere except in my shredder bin. What makes you think I'm going to "hop to" and immediately email you a list of CSR positions available with my company right now? 
Are you for real? 

You and Ramon should meet.
Preferably in a bar. 
Where you can drink away the last of your unemployment checks while commiserating over how rough it is out there in the job market today. 

Oooo! Or perhaps you could take up Lumping together?

Which is like Planking, only lumpier. 

Because you two totally deserve each other... 

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