Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I'm scared for the future of America



I love typos.
You guys already knew that about me though I'm sure.


And let me just take a moment to say here that I'm not perfect, I make boo-boos all the time. So I'm not sitting here with my Grammar Police badge and my Queenie Crown on criticizing every lil' thang that I come across.
(That's right, I just got twangy on you)




I start sentences with "and" and "so" all the time. My writing's consumed with fragmented sentences like it's goin' outta style. And although I'd be the first to defend myself and point out that I write like I talk and therefore hope I'm being more "relate-able", my high school English teachers would have a FIELD DAY with me and my inappropriate "wayz".


Typos on resumes, however, are just... how shall I say? Unacceptable.
TYPOS

There's this really cool feature in every program known to mankind, it's called "SPELL CHECKER". And also-- you do not live in a bubble. There are other people around you that could look at your resume before you send it out to the planet for mass criticism. And even though the people in your immediate vicinity might be just as stupid and illiterate and typo-laden as you are, you can branch out a little bit and find someone that's smarter than you and can spot your mistakes that you couldn't seem to fix on your own because you were too stubborn to press the spell checker button. (And you should buy that person a Starbux or a frozen yogurt or something for catching your mistakes and savin' your ass. That'll teach you not to use the spell checker button.)


But back to my point and the Resume of Stupidity Du Jour.


I just really REALLY love it when I find a particularly, hysterically stupid typo. It makes me absolutely giddy.
(Yes, I know, I have issues...)


"Darren" called himself "intellectually superior" in his description of himself. That's pretty ballsy in general because you just know I'm gonna be snoopin' around the resume to find anything to prove him wrong, just for the self satisfaction of saying "Ha! You are NOT, braggy butt!"


He made it easy for me though because only 3 lines down he put this:


"GPA is 3.4, minor-Buisness Management"


Pffft.
Intellectually superior my ASS.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure which is worse - misspelling your major or thinking 3.4 is an intellectually superior GPA.

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