Squidward Meanie Pants

It's Monday, it's Monday!
Time for a Meanie!

This meanie was simple.
His name was...something I couldn't pronounce.
So ironically this dude fit right in with the blog posting I wrote last week about names, which you can read here if you haven't done so already.

I'll just say his name started with the word "Quid" so we'll call him Squidward for the purposes of this post.

I called Squidward and left him a message because he was in management and I actually had 3 positions I thought he might be worth interviewing for. Not just one like most people I deem worthy enough to call, but THREE. I got his voice mail and because there was no personalized message on it giving me a "pre-indication" of how to pronounce his name correctly, I'm sure I botched his name up when I left him the message. I didn't mean to, but hey, at least I didn't call him Squidward on his voice mail.

As per my normal routine, I emailed him shortly thereafter to let him know I'd left a message and would appreciate a call and yada yada yada.

Later that afternoon, I was greeted by this lovely diddy in my inbox:

YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY SUCKS~ TRYING FUCK SCREW PEOPLE FOR LONG TIMES NOW !!

And then underneath that his automated email signature 

(that I'm sure he forgot about as he probably made it years ago), 

his name 

Squidward Meanie Pants

and then: 

EVERY DAY MATTERS!!!! MAKE BEST OF IT!!!!

So this?

Sent me into a fit of giggles. 

First of all let me just say that while I appreciate the red and blue patriotic colors that have (purposefully?) been chosen to express his opinions, let me just point out the obvious:

 LEARN TO SPEAK AND WRITE  ENGLISH IF YOU'RE GOING TO INSULT SOMEBODY IN THIS COUNTRY, YOU FUCKING MORON. 

Perhaps a better way to go about it would have been to email Squidward back and tell him he should pick himself up a copy of this:

English- As a Second Fucking Language

But surely that might get me a visit to the Principal's office, so instead, I'll just not respond and vent my frustrations here on my little slice of the Universe I've carved out for myself, otherwise known as my blog.

Secondly, I'm a die hard Seinfeld fan, and let me just tell you...whenever I see an "inordinate amount of exclamation points being used", I can't help but think of these two scenes with Elaine in Seinfeld :

First there was this

and then came this

Elaine with Mr. Lippman

In closing, I'd just like to say, 

"GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR JOB SEARCH JACKASS!!

AND DON'T FORGET!! EVERY DAY MATTERS!!!"