Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Yeah, so I'm totally off topic today, but who cares! You know you want to read anyway!

I know this has NOTHING to do with resumes but this particular topic has been going on for so long in my immediate realm that I fear if I don't discuss it here I might implode.

And nobody wants that.

So today I'm gonna yakk about something only currently familiar with fellow Simi Valley residents- but I'd like all my other peeps to read through this and chime in on it too as I want your opinion.

There's this certain chihuahua named "Minnie" that's been lost and supposedly running around loose in Simi Valley since October 9th, 2011. According to my poor math skills, she's been missing for 93 days as of this moment.

How do I know this?

Because I (and every other Simi Valley resident who hasn't been hiding under a rock or agoraphobic) have been made aware of Missing Minnie due to the incredible amount of "press" Minnie has been receiving.
Her sweet little cuddly mug shot has been plastered all over every vertical (and possibly horizontal) surface in Simi by her previous owners, 2 married internal medicine doctors that have a practice in Agoura Hills and live near the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi. These two (obviously incredibly wealthy) doctors have gone above and beyond what any "normal" distressed family of a missing doggy would do as they've not only put up signs on every surface in the city, but they are paying people to stand on corners of busy Simi Valley intersections for HOURS every day...I'm talking from dusk till dawn.

Don't believe me?

Here's proof from pictures I've taken while out and about:

I know it's hard to see but the sign the guy is holding says "Minnie Lost- $5,000 Reward for her safe return. No questions asked" or something like that.

Here's another shot from a different corner in town:

And here's a close up shot of her that I pulled from the 2 newspaper articles that have been written about her disappearance:

Awwwww. Minnie's cute, no?
Of course she is.

I'm a dog/cat/bird/guinea pig/animal loving human being. I have a history of rescuing sweet babies and either adopt them into our family (if feasible) or try to find them a good home. I'm telling you this just so we're completely clear here that I'm not an animal hater.

But this has been going on since OCTOFUCKINGTOBER NINTH.

I was so irritated with the whole fiasco by about the beginning of December that I actually googled it all, trying to find out what's so special about her that her owners so desperately needed her back. Nothing in particular, she just happened to WANDER ONTO THEIR PROPERTY in the first place and they adopted her.
That's it.
She's a freakin' wanderer.
There's your first clue people.

According to one of the newspaper articles I read, they've spent the money to print out 300-400 signs to place on the windshields of cars and to stick on light poles all over town. (I'm sure the quantity has gone up much higher than those numbers since the article was originally written.) Let me just say on a personal note- I ran a print shop, I KNOW how much it costs to have full color fliers printed up.
It ain't cheap.
They've also made magnetic signs to go on cars all over town and reportedly hired a special search dog from OREGON and had him and his owner shipped in to try and sniff her down.
And then let's not forget how much money it's costing them to employ those sign holders EVERY DAY.

So how much money are we talking here that's gone into retrieving this dog?
THOUSANDS TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars have gone into this massive effort.
Do you know how many: children could have been fed/homeless could have been sheltered/the military and their families could have been uplifted/fill in your favorite charity here __________ could have been helped- with that kind of scratch??

This angers me.

Does anybody else out there find this peculiar that they've been carrying on so long about her?
Or is it just me?

I don't think it's just me because I've actually overheard FIVE different conversations of random strangers all over town, bitching about this daily assault on our eyeballs intended to jerk our heart strings until we finally produce said 2.5 lbs of fur ball love. People are talking about it in gas stations, the post office, beauty salons, the grocery store...and what have I overheard them saying?
The same thoughts I've had: GET OVER IT ALREADY.
Just accept that Minnie was possibly a Coyote Snick-Snack and SHUT THE HELL UP.
The citizens of Simi Valley truly feel BAD for you two doctors and your missing darling, but

Perhaps we should launch a counter attack?
I think we should make up signs and stand on the corners next to the Missing Minnie sign twirlers that say "STOP TELLING US ABOUT MINNIE ALREADY- WE GET IT"

Is anybody with me on this?
Or am I just being a cold-hearted raging bitch?
I would love your thoughts.
(Even if you tell me I'm a cold-hearted bitch. I'm a big girl, I can take it ;0)


  1. Nope. You're exactly right. Rich, vapid a-holes who don't deserve what they have.

  2. It's excessive but I have learned a little trick to help me every time I hear about money that seemingly goes down the political campaigns for example...

    The money isn't evaporating, it is coming out of the accounts of the wealthy people and going to the owners of the print shops and magnetic sign people and those poor souls standing on the corner with the signs who most likely need the money.

    It's a good thing. I'm sure the print shops are praying that the Minnie stays on the lamb.

    So smile every time you see a sign and thank them for stimulating our economy instead of spending it on another trip to Europe.

  3. I agree with you Kyle and meant to bring that up in the post--- I co-owned a print shop here in Simi so I know whatever printer was lucky enough to score that account is thrilled beyond belief that this happened, as sad and weird as it is. It is definitely helping the economy around here (and I obviously have an interest in employing people considering what I do every day) but that's ALL the credit I'll give them. ;0)
    PS I still want to stand on the corner with a picture of Minnie and an arrow pointing at Wile E. Coyote's stomach that says "Here! Here is where Minnie went!"

  4. If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you then it is yours - if it doesn't, it is likely dead. HELLO!! I totally loved your bog-I live in Simi and have been thinking the same things for months!

  5. Have you seen the trailer covered with Missing Minnie posters parked on Tierra Rejada? How much must that cost? I'm convinced that dog must poop diamonds. Its the only explanation.

  6. @Shannen- yes, I have seen that trailer. My friend called me one day a couple of months ago because she was all excited, someone had put "FOUND" in big red letters across Minnie's pic. We were rejoicing as we figured the saga (and our being subjected to it) was finally over! Alas, we were wrong. That was somebody's wicked sense of humor (a pure stranger to me, yet someone I idolize) taking over as the poster had been replaced with a fresh one within an hour. Minnie was not found, the graffiti artist was just as sick of seeing it as the rest of us were. I have noticed, however, that the sign holders on the corners of LA Avenue and First and Madera and Erringer have stopped. Woo-hoo! Perhaps the owners have ultimately resigned that the diamond pooping best friend is gone for good? One can only hope.

    Thanks for being a reader Shannen!

  7. I think it's a scam of some sort if you ask me. I mean come on already. Really I called the number and left a message and never even got a call back. I smell something fishy.

  8. It's June 2nd and they STILL have guys holding signs all over the place. Wtf?? I just saw one at the corner of Madera and Tierra Rejada by the new Target. Even my 6 year old has said, either Minnie was eaten by coyotes or this is a scam.

  9. @Anonymous- I know right??!? I canNOT believe it's still going on. I seriously want to egg the poor sign holders. But that would be mean. Imagine being them and having to get out of bed every morning thinking "I'm off to do the most useless job in the Universe!!" LMAO

  10. i dont know if your big but bitch is right...

  11. screw u asshole...shes not a bitch...dogs dont have souls anyways

  12. your just mad cause your poor and cant afford to spend thousands on her...

  13. i found her. and im keeping her! she is a great dog and i love seeing all those signs looking for my new dog!

  14. it's now september of 2014 and I just saw a truck driving around town with a sign about minnie. holy shit people give it the fuck up already.